Happy Birfday to me...happy birfday to me

So today is my birthday!!

I am 23

Fears about being old aside, I have decided to reflect on what 23 years on this earth have taught me as I enjoy the light breakfast I treated myself to today
1. you only get this one life, and when you really think about it it isn’t a long time. Like Chuck Palahniuk said “On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero”.
2. In regards to number 1, life is to short to eat bad food, read bad books, drink bad wine and hang out with people who suck
3. people don’t think about nearly as much as you think they do, and when they do, its never nearly half as bad as you think it is. But if it’s a lot and if its all bad things then your doing something right. Your nobody till somebody hates you, because no one wants the unsuccessful and unliked to fail.
4. dress well everyday. For starters, you will be prepared for everything life has to throw at you. And furthermore, almost all success comes through self confidence, and nothing makes you as confident as knowing you look good
5. to add to this, you are not Heidi Klum, you will never be Heidi Klum, to some degree even she isn’t Heidi Klum. And if she spent all of her time upset she wasn’t Tyra Banks, you wouldn’t find her attractive anyway, so get over it.
6. the beauty in all things comes from its uniqueness. Think of the most beautiful person in the world. Then really look at their features. I’d bet a starbucks that they are just as “ugly” as you are
7. don’t bet starbucks with your mom (this is new)
8. don’t let other people make up your mind for you. I hate my boobs. I will always hate my boobs. And for a while I struggled with the unfeminist implications of getting them “worked on”. But then I realized that putting your happiness aside so you can fit yourself into a mold, however noble, is no different then “doing what other people want you to”
9. having boobies is not a bad life goal
10. having big feet is ok
11. being dumb is ok
12. being everything but lazy and pretentious is ok
13. brown does go with black, and gold with silver, navy with black, and argile with plaid. The only rule of thumb here is if you own it; it works
14. your never too old to enjoy your birthday. Maybe I’ll feel differently when I wrinkle, but I’ve had the grays, I’ve had the growth spurts, and all I know is with every year I am smarter then the year before. Because of this I will never be afraid of getting older…….nervous, ok, and maybe I’ll whine but there is nothing but nobility in aging with grace.
15. OJ after Toothpaste tastes like ass

Sex, Drugs, and Contracts

Breakfast: Oscar’s poppy seed bagel, toasted with Phillie Cream cheese

Lunch: Thanksgiving Turkey with Cranberry sauce (wheeee) on cranberry, walnut, wheat bread.

Dinner: spinach and goat cheese salad with hot beacon dressing.

If only everything in life were as good as that right now.

I need desperately to do laundry (I may tonight)

I need to do another practice exam

I’m getting fat, and in an effort to stop this I am going to try to write down what I eat. Here are some of my general rules for the coming weeks:

One meal a day must be a salad or solely a vegetable.
In an attempt to utilize the small meals theory of dieting, I am trying to have at least one food consuming unit consist of fruit (banana, soy, carrot shake, or apple with PB)
One must be protein
Only one can be exclusively carb
I’m making it mandatory to drink at least one 20 oz water bottle a day
No eating anything other then veggies after 8

Side notes:
Turkey is basically god to me know. I have a huge bag of leftovers (thanks mom) and it is probably the happiest site to see when opening my fridge.

My pants are tight…..grr. I’m a little mad that all of my weight seems to gravitate to my stomach and the little patch between my thighs as to achieve optimum fatness. Though I am willing to accept it goes to other places as well and I just don’t notice till it gets here, but still.

My birthday is this weekend, tucked ever so snugly between the bouts of depression and manic panic episodes that is law school finals. So this week is for me a race to that ultimate finish line. Plus people being forced to make me their primary concern for a day couldn’t have come at a better time

Am trying to keep thoughts high and keep taking deep breaths. All I have to do is keep on track. So with any luck on the 18th when this hot tranny mess is all over I will be a 23 year old, successful collegiate with no more pimples and a great ass.

Just rock it out a little

Got thankfulness ?

Things I am thankful for:
- my wrist brace. It is the only thing separating me from agony and I love it for its diligent efforts to keep me relatively pain free
- free episodes of gossip girl
- free episodes of bones
- starbucks
- my amazing boyfriend who knows the quickest path to my heart is through starbucks. Story: I went to the video store with POD to rent “run fat boy run”, and I got a call. Or rather pod got a call. When I picked up he told me he was actually looking for me, and wanted to talk since he had called the house before to talk to POD and my mom not me. Then I told him we were going to grab a starbucks and then go watch the movie if he’d like to come over. He told me he’d be there in a few which confused me as he lives a few towns away from the parents. But anyway…..I walk into starbucks and poof. There he is. He had come down to the sims and gotten me and pod a bucks to surprise us. Apparently he was hoping to deliver then to the house but our little outing spoiled it. though it was still amazingly adorable.
- My birthday. There are hushed tones and secret calls. I am excited
- Our post thanksgiving xmas outing. Can’t wait
- Leftovers
- Booze (viva vidi vino)
- The family, the friends, everyone that supports me and that I care about
- And finally love, honesty, beauty and charity
And by that I mean illegal prescription drugs which get the same results while I study

Go and give thanks. If you were to really take a look there is a lot in life to be thankful for and now’s a good time to take a breath and realize it.

Bah ..Hum....Pilates

My poor blog
How neglectful I’ve been. School has taken up every waking hour of my time. and what seldom time if left is devoted to restless sleep, tragically small amounts of time spent with boyfriend and family, and even less time spent with friends not also suffering through the isolating hell of law school.

Some notes about the recent weeks:
My appartment is basically amazing. I love it. Its warm, its cozy, had some help rearranging furniture (will not elaborate…basically put in to make myself laugh).

I’m getting fat. Well ok, not fat, but I’ve been a lazy lob in the Pilates department and have been eating all manner of bad things and I dare say its starting to show. With any luck this will be resolved over Christmas break

I hate Christmas. What typically melancholy anti-social sentiment. But I do. Family being annoying (there will be bitching about family members who buy too much while simultaneously bitching not enough yet purchased. There will be the seasonal argument that Christmas is about family time made by the first person out of the room when the presents are open. Putting in the middle the only understanding person (or person who doesn’t care in the least audible fashion). Kitchen disasters, family brunch, not being invited to family brunch, hearing people complain I have no spirit. etc
But I’m trying this year. I’m putting a tree up (a little one). I’m baking all of the cookies and trying to have some passion about it. I may do something friend centered rather then family centered (wrap party, group shopping trip, binge eggnog drinking).
We are also going shopping the day after thanksgiving. This is a tradition that is almost as traditional as my parents bitching that it isn’t in the spirit of Christmas, and consequentially ruining the only day of the year that I truly feel in the spirit. Imagine with me: every year after thanksgiving, still in the stupor of a delicious meal, we drive up to a very swanky mall in Westchester NY. There are no crowds yet, no pushing and pulling in every store by frantic shoppers, Christmas music playing, tasteful (and I might I add still new) decorations, maybe a nice gingerbread latte. Yes this day and this day alone I feel in the spirit. Mostly because it’s the way I remember Christmas from when I was a kid. A fun time of year, with no hassle, no stress, just the music and the weather and the decorations. You know the fun stuff. Every other day of the season is filled with whining family, passively feuding, overbearing music, traffic. Or more importantly my parents talking about how this is supposed to be family together time when we hate being together. And there is proof. Christmas morning, we get up, we have breakfast, we open presents and BAM... mom’s in the kitchen were no one is allowed to talk to her and my dad is gone. Leaving my sister my aunt and myself (you know the people that don’t understand Christmas) to have a good time.

Outside of that I am almost 23 (dilemma of age!!! I feel so old. It’s officially my 20’s and there’s no turning back)- ok I know your thinking there’s no turning back whatever age you are but they make creams for that now

So let me sum up for those of you who don’t like lengthy reads:
- the only day of Christmas that I truly enjoy is coming!!!
- If the family ruins this oh so lovely day for me by lambasting the tragedy of consumerism on the holidays I will become Jewish
- I’m an old bitch
- Law School sucks
- hurray for sucking in

I am for the first time in at least eight years, though I dare say it may be all my life, I am proud to be an American. I think we did a great thing last night. We proved that we are not to ignorant to look past our own toe hold in our bipartisan structure to make informed decisions on progressive change. We proved we are not too prejudiced to elect our nations first black president. I think in this dire wasteland of foreign relations, we have proved to other countries that we are not as dumb as we look and we can fix our mistakes.

I doubted you for the past few months and I’m happy to have been proved wrong


On a side note, I quite sadly do not get to form my terrorist organization to blow up fox news as I had promised I would if McCain was elected.

On a personal note I have moved into my new place and am happier then a pig in poop about it

God (or any other deity you choose to or not to worship) bless (in religious or nonreligious sense) America

The reference to forming a terrorist organization is completely fictitious, and does not in any way reflect an anti-political or social belief in the writer of this blog. It was meant to be funny. That is all. And as a note on this note, the patriot act blows…..

They tried to make me go to Alaska….I said no no no

I am cold

It’s cold in my apartment

It’s cold outside

It’s cold in my classroom

Ok issue 1: the cold in my apartment will soon be rectified when I move out tomorrow, and into my new place Sunday!!!!!

I’m quite excited. I already have a tentative floor plan of where I want everything to go. May have to have formal housewarming, when I’m caught up on work and not crying myself to sleep

The cold outside is tragic. This is mostly because I walked around yesterday freezing my bum bum off in my white trench. Yes it’s a spring coat, but still. I thought I was way to early to be this cold. Then I realized in two days it will be November. Which led me to believe…..shit I missed fall.

Our classroom has been the temperature of hell for like three weeks now, and smells like smelly gym sock. This is bad. However, we all signed a petition the other day to fix the temperature, and now the room is about 50. no dice. I’m having a hard time believing that our only two settings are hell and Alaska, though considering their governor you could make the perverse argument that these are now one in the same. Like Lauren said when we watched 30 days of night, “now the sun comes up they realize they have Sarah Palin and the real terror begins”. May carve her likeness into pumpkin

But back to temp issues I miss hell

And as an aside to that, I am dressing like a devil for a party tonight. This is only a mini costume and I’m saving my energy for tomorrow when I dress like Amy Winehouse.

Must still get fake tattoos for costume. And drink a bottle of Jackie D’s