Creative self love

Ok so inspired by my boyfriend who wishes he could do more creative things, I’ve reposted my choose your own adventure poems. Originally posted during poetry month two years ago on my myspace, I have decided to dust a few out of the mothballs, as

1. they’re kind of fun
2. they are a little instant gratification poetry. Like knitting a scarf. Or for those who aren’t feeling creative but want to bust something out so they don’t forget how, a little poetic masturbation:

Super list poem

List two books you’ve read in the last month

List two singers by last name

List an article you read in the paper (can be an illusion to the subject)

Name a Johnny Depp film

Name a Cillian Murphy film

Name a foreign film

The last place you had an alcoholic beverage

What is your favorite word

Your favorite color, book, film today

A song title (as in the song that just got stuck in your head as soon as you read this line)

What is your favorite curse word and why

Add punctuation, prepositions and conjunctions

Capt Corelli’s Breakfast on Pluto,

Love Loeb

A lawyer kills a man for touching his little girl

The deadman.

Breakfast on Pluto,

Love me if you dare

At a mutual friends place.

Herb Gardens,

Green trees grow in Capt. Corelli’s

Do you want to go my way?

Fuck, It’s always doable

It ain’t Whitman but at least it gets your head moving in the right direction

I will make you go to Rehab

“Do you realize that everyone you know someday will die? And instead of saying all of your goodbyes, let them know you realize that life goes fast. It’s hard to make the good things last. You realize the sun doesn’t go down, its just an illusion caused by the world spinning ‘round”

How neglected my little blog has been of late

I am deeply sorry for this. A lot has been happening. My living situation has almost instantly turned to hell in a colonial. My room is freezing. And until our recent colder temperatures I had no idea. And I am less then pleased. I could have lived with all of the other issues of my living condition (ie, my landlady’s load voice which she inststs on using the second I walk in the door, her insistence that she yell at me from other rooms, her smoking (yeah didn’t tell me that when I moved in) that makes me want to take I up again like woah, the fact that I don’t have my own kitchen, the fact that she won’t be happy until my far more patient roommate and I are bleaching and scrubbing our shower every time its used). And this is made worse by the fact that she is insisting that she told me the room got cold, which is defiantly not the case as I would have declined to move it if it had. This, with everything else, plus the fact that I’m parking my car in the road where her insane neighbor already made mince meat of my roommates side mirror, is the reason I am pretty sure I’m done with this home and all it intails. Its making me realize that despite the fact that its cheaper to live this way, id rather take out the cash and live somewhere nice, for the sake of my studies. Though my mother now thinks that this is all a rouse and that I really just want to move home. This is very far from the truth, but it also means that I cant really ask for her help in looking for a new place. Not that she’s my go to girl, since she hated living with someone else and yet insisted I do it.

Anyway, I’m excited by Halloween and hope I get to celebrate it to its fullest. I had wanted to be Dorothy and found the cutest costume, but due to budget cuts with no sign of government funded bailouts, I may opt instead for dressing up as Amy Winehouse. This will be as easy as borrowing a dress from my little sister, doing up the hair, asking my sister very nicely to do my eye makeup and donning some fake tattoos and a half empty bottle of Jack Daniels (though by the time I make the bottle in such a way to me it may seem half full). Side note: watched a thing on tats last night and was completely grossed out by new trend of eye tats….gyahhh. Though the tattoo ink that glows under blacklight but is invisible in daylight is pretty awesome

Two top fives may cover the rest:

Top five favorite things:

1. white cheddar cheese its
2. starbucks- 2 pump Pumpkin Spice Lattes, soy with caramel drizzle
3. Deathcab
4. my panini grill
5. Bones

Top Five things I am less then pleased with

1. Sarah Palin
2. My little $375/mo ice box
3. McCain’s potential death, Palins potential appointment as president, and my potential move from country as angry ex-patriot
4. like my roommate calls it “the tyranny of Phyllis”
5. filling my gas tank

Lost and scarfs

So I stumbled today on this little gem. It was a format I apparently used when I had a live journal (so emo) a few years ago. And now I feel compeled to give it a go

Ok here’s what’s up:

Grades: so far none yet which is upseting

Books read: just law ones

Happy thoughts had: a few mostly recent trip to see deathcab related

Offers for New Years accepted: none yet (obviously this was around new years)

Times I missed someone: quite a few

New clothing worn: just my green scarf my favorite thing in the world. its not new, but its new for this year

Times excited about something silly: wearing aforementioned scarf and looking at a new place where crazy old ladies don’t bother me as soon as I walk in the door

Observations: nothing brings people together quite like sports & it’s more fun then I thought, to be one of those people in a relationship when a typically “romantic” song is played at a concert

Good times: went to the sims today just to pick up my phone card. And had a cosi….allll right

Great Oldies: “burrito” by Pete Yorn. It came on when I was listening to my iPod

Stories worth sharing: none at the moment

Reasons to be happy your alive: I have Thursday off

Reasons to wish you were dead: I’ll probably spend it studying

Any extra thoughts: Ian Sommerhalder episode of Lost is on. This is why this message will be brief as it is my favorite episode of the season

Sign off message: I’ll follow you into the dark

The last days of disco....Alex rule

Everywhere I’m going

Everywhere I’ve been

I’m always moving in circles

But I’ll never give in

Today I went into my surprisingly empty classroom and talked about how dumb Sarah Palin is. Then I remembered that I had a class before this one (hence the empty) and freaked out. This was God’s little way of putting me in my place after I called Palin dumb.

My prof wasn’t upset though. He asked when I came in, if there was some sort of traffic problem and I said “no. I just forgot I had class” and he just laughed

Dare I say this was the work of the …..Alex rule

Note on the Alex Rule:

1. The Alex rule, though named after me, is not about me. It came about one day when anonymous person A commented about how annoying the actions of anonymous person B where. I said this wasn’t fair because if I had done the same thing she wouldn’t be mad at me. To this she relied “but your Alex”. Thus the Alex rule was born. And while I realize it is incredibly self-aggrandizing to even mention it, keep in mind it applies to everyone, and I’m insisting the name stay as it is the first and very likely the last thing to be named after me, and if I can only have one thing I would like it to be a sociological concept (or is this psychological? orthogonal? Radical? Nonsensical?

2. The Alex rule in its simplest form is a concept where the actions of one person do not offend you (or are “ok”) because the person committing said actions, has in some way, been elevated of the standards to which you hold another.

ex: When an effeminate gay man working for the gap tells you your pants make you look fat, its ok. He is being honest. He doesn’t want you walking around in anything but your best

When a 20-something year old female working for the Gap tells you the same, she must be destroyed

Alex Rule

3. The Alex rule is a possible defense for actions in certain situations. For example, when you perceive potential backlash to a comment it can sometimes be countered by the Alex rule, but not always.

4. Those to whom the Alex rule applies, do not have absolute protection under it. Even those with seeming invincibility under the rule will cross the line eventually.

5. If you do not fall under the rule, it is futile to try……sorry. You will have to be one of those few among us who have to watch what they say

6. The Alex rule differs from person to person. What offends one, is totally cool under the Alex rule to another

7. Despite the origins of the concept a few years ago, there is reason to believe that all Alex’s fall under this rule, and it may be necessary to pretend this concept has classic historical backing, starting with Alexander the Great.

Other great Alex’s: Alexander Graham Bell, Alex of “A Clockwork Orange”, Alexander I, II & III of Russia, not to mention Alexandra the Czarina of Russia, Alex Trebek, Alex Kapranos of Franz Ferdinand, Alex Van Halen, Tropical Storm Alex, Lex Luther……

I sent out my first resume and therefore, after attending a lecture on professionalism decided it was wise to erase/ untag all my “naughty” picture on facebook today. I guess the childhood is officially over.

Ode to Alexandra’s now dead childhood:

I liked being little

Not good at anything other

Never liked to settle

And I was my own big brother

Now I’m older then sin

What a state I am in

A lifer, a worker a lover

The end

In more ways then I think I am prepared to realize.

On a happy note I heard a good joke today:

“Sarah Palin is debating tonight”

haha knee slap

Designers….where is the lorax?

Went to the science museum. Learned some things. Went to the Dr. Seuss statute garden as well. Saw the Lorax. I had wondered what had happened to him.

Saw a women, or rather was subject to her obnoxious ranting to her children. From the rampant craziness I was able to hear, she was taking her kids to the museum systematically, visiting a small section so that the kids will learn everything about that section so that they learn something rather then moving from section to section without learning anything.

In other words, she is single handedly removing all the joyful curiosity out of learning. It’s ok though. It’s always nice to see a women crushing the joy and life out of her children

In other news, the improperly named “bailout” was shot down by the house. And the Dow lost over 700pnts that day.

Everyone panic

A haiku:

A quick second of

Afternoon deal fulfilling

It frazzles my face

And finally PR:

-didn’t remember it was on until I stumbled on it (bad sign)

-if Kenley isn’t gone this episode I may protest the show for the remainder of the season unless I know after the fact that leeanne is still on, which then may lead me to catch the rest in reruns.

RIP Paul Newman. Is it a coincidence that our “last American hero” dies before it seems like the country nosedives into oblivion, left to reference him and all our other nostalgic moments in the history of our beloved country at the bar for drunken superpowers that once were. England is saving us a seat.

Thinking salad

Everyone loves a good stream of consciousness narrative, don’t they. I think it’s funny how often I studied them in school, loathed them on a conceptual level and the day it finally occurred to me that I was a mild SOC writer myself. The horror. Though that bothers me less now. Though I’ve always wondered if I could even stop being that kind of writer. How do you stop writing in the same path as your thoughts. I suppose everyone’s different. I mention all of this because I am enjoying a Greek Salad.

Which leads me to think of my favorite Mediterranean resterant Arugula

Which leads me to compile my top five list for restaurants

This list is:

1. Arugula
2. Tequila Mockingbird (fantastic Mexican not to mention it deserving a place for having such a cheeky name)
3. the Colony (best pizza I have ever had)
4. Cambridge house (find better pub food. I dare you)
5. The Meadow

This leads me to want to add footnotes to the list: mentioning that #1 is always number one. Tequila may always be number 2. Cambridge is fairly new. Meadow is very new and replaces the sushi restaurant in Bloomfield, which had at the time replaced Wasabi. The fact that almost everykind of cuisine is mentioned in this list is not on purpose and is just a matter of conscience. The fact that #1 is a Mediterranean restaurant is not.

This leads me to wonder if I’ve studied so much law that I am now footnoting my own thoughts.

This reminds me of some of the now legal based humor I am routinely subject to

This leads me to wonder if footnoting could have a good place within some of my writing. It would certainly push the form

I get excited about the plans I have for my next creative writing endeavor, which I have come to realize was, on the whole, ignored last year when I worked. At the very least it gives that creative muscle a work out

I fear it may have atrophied

I think of Lackoff and Johnsons work on how many of our conceptual processes are shaped by metaphor. (if you haven’t yet, go read their book and or essays.)

And this more or less gets me to where we started, which the exception of a few detours that came up as I started to type

This salad is good

I’m about to eat the peppers. I hate it when people don’t eat the peppers.

The two best, most constructive things that anyone ever said about my writing where:

1. “there is an underlying humor to everything you write” I love this because there was no way I could control this, but I felt it added life to even the most boring things I chose to write and it meant that regardless of the subject my personality would to some degree always come through in what I wrote
2. “you know your characters and have a great scope which is admirable” I love this because I always feared I did too much or too little with my characters. So much of the meaning of actions of a fictional character are no more my doing then the readers so I loved the thought that each of them existed as a sperate entity from myself. In other words there were not 5 versions of me at any given time in my work. Though an aside it is funny to me that one of my best criticisms used the word admirable, which while suggesting no negative aspects, always seemed like a passive aggressive word to me. Don’t ask me why.

I also want to mention that one of these came from a friend, and one came from my “hot professor”. I wont waste typing space discussing that it just seems meaningfully unrelated.

In closing: take your creative muscles to the gym because this is admirable and only pussy’s don’t eat their peppers.

Sunshine and rape exams

I’m so happy today it’s annoying. I’ve told the story at least ten times today so I wont again, but long story short, I was in a deep financial murk, with a loan held up, causing me to take a loan from my parents….never a good things. Well then an unlikely angel of mercy (the US government) came to my aid and rescued me (rather offered me money that solves literally all of my problems). Hurray. Now as a kid I was never into princesses but damn it feels good to be rescued. I may have to do this more often.

That was one of those stereotypical girl things that never got a hold of me, princesses. I mean what was the appeal? They sat around all day waiting to be saved. I always wanted to be queen. I joked about this a lot growing up and then one day my mother told me it wasn’t a joke it was the truth. And to quote her “and you didn’t want to be the queen to have better jewels and a king, but to have absolute power”. This seems harsh. And unfortunately true. I was always more interested in adventure stories and I liked girls that got out there and did things. I LOVED Nancy Drew. (you can imagine my dismay at the recently released film version, which not only made her too young but seemed to want to add into the mix some crap about the perils of fitting in at school et al, everything that ND wouldn’t have given a rats ass about). Nancy was bad ass. If something happened she got in there to figure it out and by any means necessary. She was also a stylish teenager- early 20’s gal with a sweet due and an even sweeter ride (I should mention I was an avid reader of the early original Nancy Drew. They were re-done in the 70’s I believe, to modernize them, but for me early Nancy is the only Nancy). Needless to say, these childhood fantasy preferences seemed to have had a residual effect in my adult life, but on this day, and I sat feeling the warmth of relief, I could at least understand it a little.

And speaking of women who sit around and wait for things to happen: Sarah Palin. Oh she’s done it this time. I was cruising around on the net when I was led to an article at CNN.com that discussed Palins unofficial endorsement of victim funded rape exams. Basically, to summarize very briefly, while she was a governor in Alaska, the state had issues, due in large part to aforementioned town, passing legislation regarding rape exams. Her town was one that required a rape victim to pay for her exam. Just hearing it took me aback a little. Now the article did its best to be fair and say she had not made specific rulings on this issue. However, the miscellaneous fund that these exam costs had been previously taken from was reduced, the man that orchestrated it fired, and issues with legislation hindered by this town. Now as a women I can’t even fathom this for two reasons:

1. Sarah Palin, you know Sarah as in proud owner of a vagina, choose in her term to, at the very least, ignore this issue that is pretty high up on a women’s rights agenda. Next, women don’t need a right to choose just cause it’s our body. Women don’t need to vote, they need to take the kids to hockey practice.
2. Even if she hadn’t deliberately orchestrated this, or supported this, how could she just let it ride? Who in her campaign think tank thought that would be a good issue to ignore? Let’s face facts: assuming all moral issues (enough women don’t report rape cases due to the invasive nature of them as is, let alone if they had to pay for the exam), and there are considerable, as well as economic (sorry due to the millions without health insurance rape is only a charge that rich people can afford) let’s remember that men don’t always support women in position of power. And to be fair some women don’t always trust members of opposite genders to represent their needs, though I am excluding for the sake of time all of those men who would rather see Palin in a kitchen then an office. And since she has already natural and maybe undefeatable male resistance, she is also shunning an issue paramount to women and their rights. Is she a nimrod? Is this bitch fucking retarded (that is a proper use but that’s a different blog for a different day)?

Now I’m not delving complete into this. We could be here for days. And I’m in too delirious a mood to ruin it by thinking about this women and her idiocy. So I’ll sum up:

1. Nancy Drew kicks ass, and I want to be her
2. regardless of this, an occasional rescue by a knight in shinning armor doesn’t suck
3. Palin is a terrible person (added to my list, right under Chenney, that remind me evil is real and that prayer is necessary)
4. If you’re a woman that gets in that booth a votes for her, I hope you get raped and have no insurance to pay for the exam that will facilitate any manner of legislation on your behalf. And while you’re at it, if you get shot, I hope they have to take money out of your estate for ballistics. And when the cops come to interview your mourning family, they also have to make them a sandwich. Government money doesn’t grow on trees you know
5. I didn’t mean any of that. I hope no one gets raped. That’s awful. I’m just angry
6. Instead write a letter to Mrs. Palin and say “do you know what the difference is between a hockey mom and a pit bull? Who cares I can rape poor people”
7. Don’t be a fool, stay in school. And get someone else to pay for it